Timestamp: Friday 14th October 2016 at 13:01.
Wow, so it has been two weeks since I started on this journey of self-revitalization. That’s two weeks without launching a video game, two weeks of refocusing on who I am and what it means to be who I am and where I am today…and two weeks of rising to be better than I was. It’s tempting as hell to sit back and rest on my laurels today. After all, it’s Friday - the strongest commitment I have is waiting for a weekly phone call that should be coming in any minute as I write this. Midterms are done, there are a couple finishing touches I need to put on a group project before Monday night, but other than that there’s really not that much I need to do today.
It’s all but idle time. And what do I typically do with idle time?
I would game. The urge to do so is literally right before my eyes. I mean, I’ve got friends I talk to exclusively through Steam, for God’s sake. I wish I could change that fact, but it’s the reality I must live with. And yet, I’ve mentioned the slippery slope that caused me to slide all the way back to square goddamned zero two or three times now.
That. Won’t. Happen. Again.
It simply can’t. My life literally depends on it. And yet, my motivation to actually do productive things is still, to put it very lightly, a work in progress. I must admit that doing away with time wasting sites isn’t going so well. Sure, I’ve got the blocker in place on my productive laptop that’s almost more of a joy to use (aside from the lovely feeling of this mechanical keyboard at home…) than my full-power desktop, but I’m still not actually doing anything with that time. I mean, work this week was busy enough to keep me off it without much of a concern, but this morning I just derped around on reddit for four hours instead of doing interesting things (though I have to admit that one dog was adorable as hell). I’ve got programs and a novel to write! WHY, BRAIN? WHY?! Seriously, this whole motivation thing is starting to annoy me. How do I get myself to do things, awesome things that will give me that feeling of accomplishment I want?!
On a brighter note, I think I’m figuring out getting up on time. Turns out the threat of a $250 fine from my landlord if they’re not able to get to check my water meter (wherever it is) at some point between the hours of 9 and 5 today and yesterday is a good motivator. I just hope that they didn’t try while I was in the shower or something and couldn’t hear them knock… Side note, come on management - freaking Comcast literally gives a more useful appointment window than that! Anyway, whether this pattern can turn into a trend and then a habit is still up for debate. This weekend will be rather telling I think.